when things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnasise jar and two cups of coffee.
a professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. when the class begin, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with the golf balls. he then asked the students if the jar was full. they agreed that it was. the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. he shook the jar lightly. the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. the then asked the students again if the jar was full. they agreed it was. the professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. of course, the sand filled up everything else. he asked once more if the jar was full. the students responded with a unanimous "yes". the professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empyy space between the sand. the students laughed.
"now", said the professor as the laughter subsided, "i want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. the golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions - and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. the pebbles are the other things that matters like your job, your house and your car. the sand is everything else - the small stuff. "if you put the sand into the jar first," he continued,, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. the same goes for life. if you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you". "pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. play with your children. spend time with your parents. visit with grandparents. take time to get medical check-ups. take your spouse out to dinner. play another 18. there will always to time to clean the house and fix the disposal. take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. set your priorities. the rest is just sand".
one of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. the professor smiled. "i'm glad you asked. it just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend".
Sunday, 6 November 2011
If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car.. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!
And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom t hr ew you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car.. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!
And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom t hr ew you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd
funny story
A man was sick and tired of going to work everyday while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
“Dear Lord: i go to work everyday and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what i go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.”
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,
Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook,
He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 p.m and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vaccum, dust and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick-up the kids and get into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,
Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4.30, he began peeling the potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded the laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 p.m, he was exhausted and, though his daily chores were not finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, i don’t know what i was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, i feel you have learned your lesson and i will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You will just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.”
“Dear Lord: i go to work everyday and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what i go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.”
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,
Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook,
He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 p.m and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vaccum, dust and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick-up the kids and get into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,
Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4.30, he began peeling the potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded the laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 p.m, he was exhausted and, though his daily chores were not finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, i don’t know what i was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, i feel you have learned your lesson and i will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You will just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.”
Judge me by the footprints i leave behid
A story is told about a soldier who has finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Fransisco.
“Mom and Dad, I’m coming home, but I’ve got a favor to ask. I have a friend I’d like to bring with me”.
“Sure,” they replied,” we’d love to meet him.”
“There’s something you should know the son continued,” he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mined and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us.”
“I’m sorry to hear that son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live.”
“No, Mom and Dad, I want to live with us.”
“Son,” said the father, “you don’t know what you‘re asking. Someone with such handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can’t let something like this interferes with our lives. I think you should just come and forget about this guy. He’ll find a way to live on his own.”
At the point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however they received a call from the San Fransisco police. Their son had died after failing from a building, they were told. The Police believed it was suicide. The griefs stricken parents flew to San Fransisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn’t know, their son had only one arm and one leg.
The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good looking or fun to have around, but we don’t like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren’t as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there’s someone who won’t treat us that way. Someone who loves us with unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we is.
Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will gives you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!
There’s a miracle called - Friendship - that dwells in the heart. You don’t know how it happens or when it gets started. But you know the special lift It always brings and you realize that Friendship is God’s most precious gift!
“Mom and Dad, I’m coming home, but I’ve got a favor to ask. I have a friend I’d like to bring with me”.
“Sure,” they replied,” we’d love to meet him.”
“There’s something you should know the son continued,” he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mined and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us.”
“I’m sorry to hear that son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live.”
“No, Mom and Dad, I want to live with us.”
“Son,” said the father, “you don’t know what you‘re asking. Someone with such handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can’t let something like this interferes with our lives. I think you should just come and forget about this guy. He’ll find a way to live on his own.”
At the point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however they received a call from the San Fransisco police. Their son had died after failing from a building, they were told. The Police believed it was suicide. The griefs stricken parents flew to San Fransisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn’t know, their son had only one arm and one leg.
The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good looking or fun to have around, but we don’t like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren’t as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there’s someone who won’t treat us that way. Someone who loves us with unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we is.
Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will gives you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!
There’s a miracle called - Friendship - that dwells in the heart. You don’t know how it happens or when it gets started. But you know the special lift It always brings and you realize that Friendship is God’s most precious gift!
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